Our Innate Freedom: “The key to our prison” 3
So, in my last post we were talking about the art of getting someone’s world, and how that leads to the experience of ‘being gotten’ for both people involved.
In order to fully get someone, we must see them as fully other and have no preconceived ideas of them in our heads.
In order to get there, we are making the distinction between the what and how of experience, as this is key to the art of getting someone’s world.
When someone asks us, “How are you doing?” we tend to think about the what’s: the people, the places, and the things. We answer this way because we associate the quality of our experience with the what of our experience.
So, lets start with the what and work backwards to see if we do actually create our own reality. Start with the what, which could also be the result, or the outcome.
Guy: What’s an outcome in your life right now that you really love?
Shana: I’m married to an amazing man.
Guy: Great, an amazing husband. And, what’s an outcome in your life that you don’t like very much?
Shana: I’m too busy.
Guy: Ok, busyness. Yes, I say the same thing. I am too busy.
In talking about results or outcomes you could also say things like, money in the bank, nice house, great job – really anything that we can taste, touch, or smell. We can always look in terms of outcomes and results ( the what) because there is always a given in any experince.
So, try this on. If that is the content (the what), then what is that content held within
If the what is the content, then what is the context which is in correlation with all of our what’s, or all our results and outcomes? For example, the amount of money I make is in direct correlation with what? What do you think?
Shana: What you choose to do.
Guy: Yes, what I do.
So, your relationship, for example, that is a great what. And I imagine that you do all kinds of things (actions) to have it be great. Action. What we do.
Now, if you tune in to most conversations that people are having, you will notice that most conversations never get out of these two things – actions and outcomes. People are either talking about what they have, what they don’t have, what they should have, what they cant have but want to have, what they will never have, what they are doing, what they are not doing, what they think they should be doing, etc., etc., etc.
This is the basic conversation that human beings live inside of – actions and outcomes. And, given that this is the conversation which most people live within, then it makes sense that most people go – ‘well, if you want a different outcome, just change your actions.’ Just do something different and it will be different – right?
Shana: My mom said that to me once. I was sharing some kind of breakthrough I was having around loving my body, and she said, “I don’t understand. If you don’t like your body, why don’t you just go to the gym?” Do something different. And then I was like, oh – that’s where you’re coming from…
Guy: Exactly. But, how many of us know things we want to be or do – that we could actually do something about right now – but we don’t?
If it was that simple, just outcomes and actions to change outcomes – then I don’t think there would be any such thing as coaching. Instead there would just be a book or manual or something, look up what to do and go do that. Problem solved.
Given that there are things that we want, for example you know you want to eat better than you currently do, and you know you want different results. You even know what actions to take. But you don’t take them. Why?
There must be something going on behind all of that. We are talking about how we construct our reality. The stuff that we can see are the outcomes and results, but what’s going on, invisibly, in the background?
***PART 4 coming soon***